PG: so that fucker called me an hour before his shindig last night and reinvited me
UP: cunt
UP: what did you say?
PG: I went to show him how good I could look so he'd have that image burned into his head when I never went out with him again.
PG: ...and was totally the hottest girl there.
UP: I'm not surprised
UP: you're hot
PG: I straightened my hair and wore my pearls and a demure dress with fishnets and bettie page shoes
PG: I mentioned to his coworker who is also named John, but is about fifteen years older that John had uninvited me and then reinvited me and he got this look on his face like, what the fuck? so I guess John just does shit and doesn't talk about it
PG: He told me he was worried that it would be a problem because he hadn't said he was bringing a date when they asked him a month ago, but since someone else's wife didn't come, he decided it was ok for me to come, but he didn't just tell me that when he uninvited me, he waited until the hour before to explain that bit
UP: he was also probably thinking "why the FUCK would john a) uninvite and reinvite someone, that's a dickish thing to do, and b) uninvite someone as awesomely hot as you ?"
PG: the older John is awesome and funny and has much more common sense... he thinks I'm funny and gets when I'm just messing around and am not serious
UP: that's cool
UP: very cool, in fact
PG: but little john is just... unreliable and untrustworthy and not worth the time and it's no wonder he's only slept with four or five women in his life. It's like he can't tell the truth. He's incapable of being straightforward.
UP: I'm surprised it's that many
UP: they must all have been very patient
PG: John said something at the party that made the other John and his wife and I all go wait, what?
PG: We'd gone out and danced and he was all impressed with how good I was at dancing
PG: and how good I looked
PG: and we went back over to stand around some more
PG: and he goes, they're gonna give me a promotion after seeing how good a dancer you are and that I'm with you
UP: ...
UP: my mouth *actually* dropped open at that
PG: and I can't remember the exact wording, but it was something along the lines of, and if I had a wife like you I'd be a manager or the equivilant
UP: I bet he actually thought that was a compliment, as well
PG: the wording was odd though
PG: it was sort of like, and when you're my wife or something
PG: that made all of us look at him like, what?
UP: Oh... like, making it even creepier
UP: than just "I'd like to use your ass to get me promoted"
UP: more "I'm *going* to use your ass to get me promoted, and you're going to let me because you obviously aren't offended by any of my dickish behaviour"
PG: more like we've only been dating for a month and we're not really actually dating right now but I'm already pasting your face in my susie home maker paper doll version I've got of the future
PG: ...check that off my list please future secretary
UP: it's supposed to be the woman who does that sort of thing
UP: I always thought
UP: planning the wedding, and that
UP: (Nairobi is an exception, because he's got to plan your capture and restraint as well, obviously)
UP: (every time I mention weddings I think of you saying "he's the man I'm going to marry - when he breaks my legs and forces me to", if you wonder why I always bring him up... I thought it was really funny)
PG: so I found out something sort of interesting last night. It turns out he's in the airforce, but not the airforce airforce. He's in the reserves and his regular job was to run the projectors and the audiovisual stuff at the airforce base before he quit to become a government contractor.
UP: and *that* says a lot about john
methinks
UP: so he implied that he was in the real air force?
PG: He sort of made it sound like he was .... yeah
UP: when really he's just a geek who hangs around near them
UP: and turns the projector on
UP: like the kid in school who turns the lights off when you watch a video
UP: he's that kid
PG: basically
PG: the airforce is called the chairforce by the rest of the military
PG: so I guess he's a pansy among pansies
UP: impressive
PG: with a tattoo on his chest with a line from his favorite movie translated into latin
PG: he watches a lot of movies
PG: I think they've shaped what he wants to be like
PG: and he's gotten to do it sort of peripherally
PG: he's got the dog tags of his uncle who was lost in combat in Vietnam tattooed on his arm
PG: he's going real hard for the, I'm a hard guy who's been in the airforce since I was seventeen
UP: ...weird
UP: yeah
UP: trying a little too hard
PG: who just learned how to tie a tie yesterday at the ripe old age of twenty nine and still talk in a baby voice to girls because I think they think it's cute.
UP: ... ugh
PG: You know, I don't think my boyfriends are getting better with age.
11:41 a.m. - 2006-12-03
Recent entries:
A Small Mountain of Perishables - 2010-10-04
Update - 2010-08-04
I moved closer to town. - 2007-07-26
Higher Education Got me Laid - 2007-06-29
If it's this hard to pick a dress, I'd hate to think about buying a house. - 2007-06-28
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