Five months ago I shat blood. It was right before my dad went into the hospital. At first I was confused. The toilet bowl was bright red and it was nowhere near my period. All the internet resources I've looked at say you should get that checked out right away.
I didn't.
My dad was in the hospital. Everyone was preoccupied. I let it go. Even though the original reason he had gone to the emergency room was because his bowels had backed up. The scar tissue on his intestines from the other operations he'd had were the reason for the blockage though. And then he died. And there was the funeral and family came into town from all over and I let it go some more because all I wanted was for things to be normal and to go to work and pretend nothing had happened.
I had another bloody bowel movement today. And I know it could be colon cancer. It could also be an anal fissure. Or hemorrhoids. Or a food allergy. Or an ulcer. So I went ahead and called a doctor and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow, even though my usual way of dealing with horribleness is to ignore it and hope it goes away while I think about it all the time.
My doctor is apparently not working this week, so I will have to tell some other doctor I've never met about how I had a bloody poop and it hurts right up at my ribcage sometimes and I think rough vaginal sex sometimes causes it (probably two thirds of the time it's happened has been the day after vigorous sex) and oh yeah, by the way, my dad died two and a half months ago. So if you have like a pamphlet or something about grief and loss and how it affects the body that'd be great.
9:05 p.m. - 2006-11-29
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